we are wired for attachment with special, irreplaceable others.
that primary attachment figure is usually one or both of our parents. If our parents aren’t able to provide the secure attachment we needed, we may develop insecure attachment and coping strategies that are unhelpful in our adult attachment relationships.
that special person is usually our romantically attached partner or spouse. If this vital attachment bond is under strain, we feel terrible pain. We may experience hurt, fear or sadness, which may be expressed as anger, frustration, criticism, contempt, stonewalling or defensiveness.
At Nurture, I work to heal the hurts and change the negative patterns that both cause and result from attachment distress.
I am a psychotherapist based in Brisbane who works with individuals, couples and families, online and in person.
I believe passionately in inclusivity and enjoy working with clients of diverse sexuality, gender expression, neurology and culture. I work with individuals, couples and families to help them find relief, healing, happiness and transformation.
I see my work as nurturing people and their connections, to allow individuals and relationships to thrive. I create a non-blaming, non-judgmental space as I believe strongly in the therapeutic power of empathy, acceptance and safety to create positive change for individuals and relationships. I work through an attachment, trauma-informed lens, using warmth and compassion to attune to my clients and help them explore and express their vulnerabilities and needs.
Prior to becoming a psychotherapist, I was a lawyer specialising in dispute resolution and international arbitration in the construction and engineering industry in Australia, the UK and Europe, which gives me an understanding of how difficult it can be to juggle work and family life.
I have experience of neurodiversity in my own family, which means that I have lived experience of the joys and challenges that neurodivergence brings to individual mental health, to relationships and to families. I recently co-facilitated a workshop for the Queensland Community for Emotionally Focused Therapy (QCEFT) called Neurodiversity and Emotionally Focused Therapy: Learning from Experience.
Whilst I have chosen to focus on a couple of evidence-based therapeutic modalities, evidence also suggests that the client rather than the therapy modality should be at the at the center of therapy. Accordingly, my approach is also integrative and collaborative.
EFT’s systemic approach (and its grounding in the neuroscience of attachment) powers its ability to help individuals identify and change negative patterns with self and others, and to help partners find safe, attuned connection. EFT helps create the safe base and secure haven needed for optimal attunement and attachment security, assisting parents and partners to become more accessible, responsive and engaged. In EFT, we explore the negative patterns that get you stuck and help you find ways of doing it differently, creating enough safety and connection to go deeper into each other’s experience. Ultimately, the goal is to help you share your vulnerability, fears and needs, and have the experience of having those met.
Attachment-focused EMDR is a powerful tool for healing the wounds left by relational trauma. If unable to be processed, traumatic attachment memories remain physically stored and maladaptively held in memory networks. When triggered, these memories can result in physiological reactions, such as flashbacks and fight-flight-freeze-fawn responses. This leaves individuals vulnerable to mental health problems. EMDR uses bilateral stimulation to reprocess traumatic memories. This allows them to be stored in ways that no longer produce the reactivity that can fuel intrapsychic and interpersonal distress, aiding attachment repair.
Relationships in which partners are of differing neurotypes bring particular challenges for partners, as each partner brings such different neurology to the relationship. It is vital to understand the impact that this different wiring has on the attachment relationship, and the strengths and challenges that neurodivergence brings to attachment relationships. Viewing neurodivergent relationships through a neurological lens allows for greater empathy and understanding of the coping strategies that partners with differing neurologies may develop. These strategies, while they are each partner’s best attempt to cope with their differing attachment needs, may fuel distressing negative cycles of prompting and defensiveness. In addition to changing those cycles, therapy in neurodivergent relationships may focus more on skill building to help create deeper emotional connection.
My fee for couples and families is $240 per hour, and for individuals is $220 per hour.
If you have any specific concerns, financial difficulties, or require a reduced fee, please feel free to speak with me at your first appointment or make note in your enquiry.
It is very hard to say in advance how many sessions of therapy you will need. This will depend on how long-term your relationship or mental health issues may be, and on what familial relational trauma, infidelity, neurodiversity or other complexity may be present.
For relationship therapy, it can be helpful to book in at least 5 sessions, before deciding whether or not you feel that this type of therapy suits you. I prefer to have an initial session with the couple or family, followed by individual sessions with each of the partners to the relationship, to get to know them better and understand more about their experience in the relationship.
Remember this is your therapy and you are in control. I try very hard to be as collaborative as possible to ensure that we are addressing your concerns and that the approach I am taking feels safe and helpful. I encourage you to give me robust feedback to ensure that the therapy you are receiving meets your needs.
If you decide to proceed with therapy, you will be requested to complete some questionnaires prior to your initial appointment that will give me a snapshot of your mental health and your relationship.
The initial sessions are designed to help me understand what is bringing you to therapy and what are the goals of each partner. We will be mapping out the negative cycle that disconnects you and understanding more about the history of that cycle as it has played out in the relationship. I will be interested in understanding what triggers that cycle and how that trigger plays out in each partner’s thoughts, bodies and emotions. Emotionally Focused Therapy is designed to be very non-blaming, so I will not be looking to “find the bad guy”. Rather, I will seek to understand why the behaviour of each partner makes sense. This may involve spending some time looking at the patterns that were present in each partner’s family of origin, to see what coping strategies each partner had to develop that were necessary at the time, but no longer serve them well.
As therapy proceeds, and the partners become better at interrupting the negative cycle and changing it, less time will be spent examining each partner’s attachment history and mapping the cycle. As the cycle becomes less entrenched and the partners feel safer and more connected, I will be spending more time supporting each partner to explore their inner worlds and understand and express their attachment needs, supporting the other partner to respond in soothing ways. As this becomes more and more natural, it starts to create a new more positive cycle that nurtures the relationship bond and helps the partners feel more connected and securely attached.
In individual therapy, your confidentiality will absolutely be respected, unless I have concerns for your safety, the safety of someone else, or my records are subject to a subpoena. In relationship therapy, there is another caveat to that, in that I cannot keep secrets for either partner against the other. If something were to arise in an individual session that affects the relationship or the relationship therapy, I would help you disclose that information to the other partner in the most therapeutic and safe way possible.
As a psychotherapist, I am unable to offer Medicare rebates for individual sessions. Medicare rebates are not available for relationship therapy, in any event. I am able to offer rebates with the following Private Health Funds:
Due to the volume of clients in need of services, each appointment is not only imperative but valuable to both you as the client and myself to maintain the efficiency of my practice.
Appointments must be cancelled 24 hours in advance during business hours excluding holidays and weekends. For instance, if calling to cancel for a Monday appointment, the cancellation must be made by Friday. If cancelling over a holiday the holiday itself does not count as normal business day. In the case of a late cancellation, a full session charge will apply.
I am available from 7.30 am until 5.00 pm on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays (in person and online) at:
Perfect Wellness
148 Arthur Terrace Red Hill
Queensland 4059
To make a booking, please feel free to complete my online enquiry form or Click Here to book now.
Unfortunately, I am not able to respond on an emergency basis. If you need urgent care, please present at your nearest hospital, or contact one of the services listed below:
Nurture acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of country throughout Australia. We pay respects to Elders both past and present and to emerging community leaders. We recognise and celebrate the diversity of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people and their ongoing connections to the lands and waters.
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